Yesterday, I bit the bullet and quit my addiction. Yes, that's right I said addiction. I was addicted to MM (MayasMom) and then went over to BBC(BabyCenter).
I realized when a website takes up that much of my time and then to wake in the middle of the night thinking about something that happened with friends and the website it was time for me to back off and get back into the real world.
I do have to say that MM was many things for me when I needed it to be. During my moves and stressful times it was great to have some continuity with the people on there and of course I had a lot of laughs. The most important thing I got out of MM was the practice of speaking my mind. Before MM I had a very hard time saying how I really felt about things for fear of not being liked. I look back from when I first joined until now and can see the evolving and progress I have made. I'm proud of myself for that. I have met some amazing women - women who gave me tons of encouragement, love and laughter. I will hold them near and dear to my heart. And I hope to keep in touch with many of them. I know it's probably not going to happen because of how the world is - we're just such a mobile and busy society. I do feel however that there have been a few friendships that will last.
All the time I spent on the website I can now pour into my personal life such as exercise, meeting with friends, volunteering or maybe I'll get a job. Not sure but I am sure it's going to be better for me to participate in the real world around me. I have two sisters who live just a few miles away from me that I hardly ever see - I can start with nurturing those relationships. My husband is happy that I will be more 'present' in the evenings for him. All around I know it was a good decision. A healthy decision for me. My deep desire and beliefs are to be positive and see the positive in situations and how I can grow and learn from them - this is a time for growth and learning about Linda on an even deeper level.
There are many things I would love to do and now maybe this is the kick in the pants to do some of them. Learn a new language (French or Italian), take a cooking class, take kick-boxing, volunteer...This will still be my journal/blog and way to stay in connection with my friends who desire to stay in contact with me and also a way for me to record and see how I am growing.
I am not at all sure if BBC or MM have indeed canceled my account yet. I asked them to yesterday so we shall see. I will not be on the site so even it this feeds into my journal there I will not be there to view any comments. Hopefully they will close my account ASAP.
Now, onward and upward!