Tuesday, January 12, 2010

Little Miss Lazy Bones

Frustration is what I am feeling this morning. Ugh. For some reason my internet connection is so slow that I'm ready to throw down this Mac! I'm going to get a new wireless router (mine is ancient) and see if that helps. If not, I may be changing my internet carrier. Would love to hear from anyone that has had this problem and how you fixed it.

On the up side I was able (after many x hitting the resend button) to order the package from the Real Estate school so that I can get going on that. I'm having mixed feelings on this adventure now. My daughter is planning on moving much closer and has asked me if I will help out with the kids. I am thrilled that they are going to be closer and that I will have more opportunities to be a part of their lives but at the same time the last thing that I want to do is put myself in a situation where I'm overwhelmed. I will just have to stick to prioritizing - my business should not be first in my life. I do have family that I love and want to be a part of - my Mom, my two daughters, my son (who is going to be a Dad for the first time) and my husband.

To be honest I have a terrible track record of following through. Cough, cough - ahem - this is so embarrassing, and humiliating to actually admit but I also know that anyone who knows me well knows this about me. For whatever reason I have had to not just 'buck up' and get things done I don't know. I think maybe laziness is a learned habit and one I intend to break. But it is hard - after-all I can't say how many people have said how spoiled I am and what a great life I have. True, but, big f*ing deal. The things that I am most proud of in my life have been when I had to work for them. I guess the best way for me to get off the potty is to just get off the potty. Maybe it's that I go to the gym today when I don't want to. Maybe it's back to setting a time limit each day that I can loaf but the rest of the time has to be constructive. I think deep down I am fearful of failure. I have learned from the past that when I face something head on that I am fearful of it diminishes in it's power over me.

Well, I must run now, gotta get my shoes on and head to the gym.

3 comments:

Lweeks said...

Duh - I meant I have a track record of NOT following through and apparently of NOT proof reading.

Stephanie said...

"The things that I am most proud of in my life have been when I had to work for them." - So very, very true. For the big things (applying for a new job when you are perfectly comfortable {bored} where you are at) to the little daily things (organizing your closet when the only thing you want to do is take a nap). You get more of a high when something is accomplished.

I'm excited for you to get closer to the kids, but I do not want you to be overwhelmed and/or resent us. I would hope that you would never regret the time you spend with us....even if you are tired!

We love you and I am proud of the effort you are making.

Kristin said...

Linda I can always relate so much to the things you write. I have many of the same afflictions, my friend, and falling into an easy, (lazy!?) routine is one of them. Then I look back on my day and wonder what the heck I did! I, too, feel SO much better when I get off my duff and get some things accomplished, and I find the more I do it, the more energy I actually have.
I am so excited for you that Steph and her fam are moving closer! I had no idea! (though once she mentioned moving and I must say, I was pushing for MN!) :)