On the up side I was able (after many x hitting the resend button) to order the package from the Real Estate school so that I can get going on that. I'm having mixed feelings on this adventure now. My daughter is planning on moving much closer and has asked me if I will help out with the kids. I am thrilled that they are going to be closer and that I will have more opportunities to be a part of their lives but at the same time the last thing that I want to do is put myself in a situation where I'm overwhelmed. I will just have to stick to prioritizing - my business should not be first in my life. I do have family that I love and want to be a part of - my Mom, my two daughters, my son (who is going to be a Dad for the first time) and my husband.
To be honest I have a terrible track record of following through. Cough, cough - ahem - this is so embarrassing, and humiliating to actually admit but I also know that anyone who knows me well knows this about me. For whatever reason I have had to not just 'buck up' and get things done I don't know. I think maybe laziness is a learned habit and one I intend to break. But it is hard - after-all I can't say how many people have said how spoiled I am and what a great life I have. True, but, big f*ing deal. The things that I am most proud of in my life have been when I had to work for them. I guess the best way for me to get off the potty is to just get off the potty. Maybe it's that I go to the gym today when I don't want to. Maybe it's back to setting a time limit each day that I can loaf but the rest of the time has to be constructive. I think deep down I am fearful of failure. I have learned from the past that when I face something head on that I am fearful of it diminishes in it's power over me.
Well, I must run now, gotta get my shoes on and head to the gym.