Thursday, July 16, 2009

Vacation - will it help?

Tomorrow we are leaving for a much anticipated vacation up in beautiful Lake Tahoe. Dave and I are going up one day early and are going to spend the night in Reno then the next day we are checking into our rental house. Stephanie and her family will arrive there Sat. Then my son and his girlfriend and Christina and her fiance, Joe, will be there on Monday. I'm very happy to have all of my kids together for a vacation. When they were young I used to take them up to Tahoe every year and we always had a great time. Usually I do not want to go home.

One of the things I am hoping is for Dave to be able to relax and for us to reconnect and find romance again. The physical part of our relationship has been practically non existent for several months and it is really getting me down. He has been depressed and shut off from most joyful things, instead working so hard to secure a promotion and make more money for our future. Because he has been depressed (and I know how that is) I haven't pressured him about discussing anything too deep or about our physical distance but I am just about drained from this. I feel like I lost him somewhere. I don't want to be roommates, I want to have intimacy on every level with my husband. Isn't that what marriage is. I know and understand that he has reasons for his depression. He has some deep stuff that he hasn't dealt with and has told me a few times that he's going to seek help. He has not. He doesn't have any friends around here, doesn't socialize really, doesn't exercise or do anything just for himself. I feel for him I really do and it breaks my heart. It also hurts me to be alone so much and to never have compliments or passes.

I sure hope this vacation allows for him to just have some fun and for us to remember those early days of romance. I miss it.


HomeSlice said...

i really hope the two of you can reconnect and find that passion again. i know depression is a libido and intimacy killer - but here's my hope that he gets some help and you guys both can feel better. have a great vacation l!

Anonymous said...

Slip some antidepressants into his morning oatmeal. (AND some viagra!)

I'm sorry, that really sucks. I know that you don't want to 'burden' him with talk of how you feel. But, maybe that's what will shake him out of it - maybe he needs to focus on someone other than himself and his job right now. In the meantime, don't let him and his mood stop YOU from doing the things that you love. YOU still deserve happiness.
Love ya! Looking forward to Saturday!

Christina said...

I hope your vacation brings you two the together time that you need. Speaking as someone with depression and a bad sex life, I can say that it is helpful when the other partner makes you aware of their needs. Like Stephanie said, it gives you something else to focus on. All the best my friend.

Anonymous said...

Linda - hopefully some R&R will help out. I'm sure he has a lot going on, and as some of the other ladies already mentioned, depression and the stuff that goes with it is a total hindrance to any intimacy. It makes for difficult times, but this too shall pass. And hopefully soon, right? :)
Hope you are enjoying your vacation and getting in the fun and laughs that you so deserve...